Heya. 

Its me again...

Just gonna talk to myself here...

Too much things on my mind that I am unable to sleep.

The nightmares.

Tired of life. Current life. 

Don't worry. I ain't thinking of self harm. 

I guess I am a grown up. 

But yet thinking of others. Also thinking of wanting to be a kid.

There are so many things that I decided to do but yet to action it. 

Confident yet not... Worried about hurting others I guess...

I am at a crossroad not knowing where to go. 

I want to settle down yet worried about getting hurt.

So many what ifs. 

What if nothing last forever?

What if he got tired and sick of me... Of us. 

What if there is just empty promises again?

Am I repeating the same mistakes?

What ifs... There is no.

No proposal.

Blessings?

Approval?

No wedding. 

I mean why would he? He already have me and feel like I want to settle down with him.

Why will he think of and wanna propose?

Why would he wanna have wedding since if we already sign papers when that happen?

Right?... Would my parents give their blessings?

I believe they will want to see me well.

But my past mistakes made a lot of things that I hope, wish for to be impossible. 

I may be tired but I am not just accepting just because... But I accept because I feel like he is the one that I wanna depend on for the rest of my life. 

Vows, that I make, I will make... I keep. I did. But there will always be people who don't.

So many things on my mind. So many things to say.

Lost. I am lost, I am annoyed. I am frustrated. 

How?

How can I know where to go and what to do? These are things that I can do something about yet I fear of hurting my family again...

I may not be the perfect daughter. Am not the perfect daughter but I wanna and is trying the best I can.

I just hope my family, my parents can see me for me... I can never be the perfect daughter, I know and has been reminded since young. 

I can never be this perfect daughter you want me to be. I am never going to be just a normal kid. I don't know what I am exactly, I guess. 

But what I know and can say is that...

I am finding my way. And yeah, I may make mistakes but I deserve to let me be me.

I have been thinking of many things. I am an overthinker. But it is my first time doing many things and I do have low confidence and feel like I am not good enough in many ways. I was gullible and naive. I have been hurt a lot and enough.

I have been bullied and made use of when I was younger. I have been trambled on and hurt but I still stand. 

When will my life begin? When will I shine and be totally comfortable in my skin?

There will always be people who judge. Always people who are gonna be jealous. I am sure our views may not match up. 

But... How? When? Where?

If I say I love you, will you say you love me too or will you treat/take me as a fool??
Is this love?hearts flutterings
4:31:00 AM
Y

Welcome to Emily Mandy blog
Love is like a river,
Which will cut a new path;
whenever it meets an obstacle.
Love is not demanding,
its unconditional

Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like,
because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
Find one, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you
of how much he cares about you and
how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends
and says, '...that's her.'
emily
mandy
.saggitarius.
.DOB " 10 Dec ".


BbabyymiLy.
cherished.x3
treasures.x33
.loves.&.treasured by.x3
pampered.x3
hugs like a teddie.x3
by.
-Unknown and MIA or AKIA-

-Unknown and MIA or AKIA-
walks.
BbabyymiLy.
away from all.
her troubles.
keeping her.
healthy safe & secure!


♥Everlastiinq Lolipops
♥Everlastiinq jelly beans
♥Everlastiinq love
♥Everlastiinq Chocolates
♥Everlastiinq reese peanut buttercups
teddie bear
anime
-Inuyasha-
minimandy
grims jr.
blue, black x3
hearts x33
stroll by the seaside and star glaze

abusers
liars
hypocrites
gossipers
BackSTABBERS
betrayers




.my baobei.
.my precious.



Worldpeace
Chocolatesworld .. white
*wishing n Wishing for you*
sushi
.mobile.
a new mp4
clam shell / flip phone is love
I don't get revenge. I get even.
There is a difference...
I will prove it


PSP
ice cream ...
chocolate
jelly bean
white choco
~!snow!~
#MINE#
*healthy*

Prove it.
Show it.
Make me believe.
Let me believe it existed.