How you do outrun something that you can't outrun...?
How do you shake off something that you can't shake off without feeling gulity?
How do you let in something that you are not ready for?
How do you explain without feeling hurt or crying?
How do you face those judgemental eyes and looks?
How do you face your nightmares face on? How do you not drown when you are indeed drowning and could not stay afloat any longer?
How do you stop hurting?
How are you like when you are forced into a decision where you are not given any choice?
How are you like when you forced yourself to remember things that you work hard to forget?
Do you feel it claw under your skin? Do you feel the pain carving out under your bones?
Do you feel like hurling? Do you feel sick to your stomach?
What would one like/need to hear when you find out she's been taken advantage of and violated?
What would one like/need to hear when she finds herself - pregnant from rape?
What would one want to hear when staring at that positive pregnancy test...
As waves of fear panick and loneliness struck.
I guess nothing.? Yet not nothing.
There were no words to describe, no words to fit the bill.
Some may tell the girl / woman - I’m sorry for what you’ve been through and what you will be going through also what you are going through.
One can never know what is going through their mind, their heart and body.
Those that have not been through will not know what is running through the girl / woman mind. What they are thinking, feeling. Maybe they are numb. Maybe they feel numb, they want to be numb.
People may be giving lots of advice, telling you what to do. But not sure how much of that is going through the girl. The waves of fear, uncertainty, disgust, panick is unquestionably stronger.
Right now, the girl is drowning, may be drowning, already drowning.
The body is now not their own...
People will say that:
It already happen.
I am sorry that such things happen to you. It is unfortunate.
I am sorry that you have to go through that.
No. Unfortunate? It wasn't our fault. It isn't right. It isn't fair! Being violated. It is dreadful. Heinous. Nightmarish. Sickening.
Struggling...? Thinking how you gonna love the child of a monster. What if the child looks like the man who assaulted you? What will be going through your mind when you look into the eyes of the child.
The latter? How do you live if you take the other route? Can't even begin to imagine. How do you burn a hole?
How do you talk to others about this? When you can't talk to others about this!
Bottling it up is painful.
How much more can one take before hitting the limits and breaking...?