With what happen recently and me been fighting my nightmares.

I am a mess.

I honestly am a mess...

Nobody knows what is going on inside...

Nobody knows that I am struggling.

Why, why do I feel so alone yet I am surrounded by people...

It's driving me crazy, can't stop it now...

I am searching for answers.

Fighting my nightmares, can't get any sleep.

I am a mess, I am wasted. 

I wanna scream.

So wanna scream, scream my lungs out.

Where is the seaside with all the stars, the ocean, sea breeze?

Where is it that you can scream without anyone hearing, judging?

Its been 10,11 days (days, nights) now, just 12 hours off in. (down time)

My plans, my ideas, my passions ,ambitions vs reality.

I don't want to choose. 

I am caught in between.

I don't know which lane to move...

Nightmares, please stop.

Is it me? Whose fault is it? 

When I am at my lowest, they sure know when to hit.

They ask for things, my friends say that this guy is innocent and he means no harm. 

Then why is he asking for my pictures? 

Why is he asking for video call? 

Why is he wanting me to talk to him? 

We are not close. Not at all. 

Why does he says that he miss me? Why does he says his heart is breaking?

Why is he sending me his pictures?

I am trying to love myself and trust myself again... 

I did take pictures yesterday. But it is for myself. No one else. 

Trying to do things that I love.

Oh no, no no. 

Asking for help is not that difficult after all.

Outstretched arms asking for help.

What the heck even is that?

What is help? 

Asking for help does not mean you will for sure get it.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah yeah, I understand that feeling. 

No no, it is alright to cry, it is alright to feel helpless.

It is alright to feel at the end of a pit, like falling into a bottomless hole.

Hey baby, darling.

Know that people with low self esteem as well as introverts find it hard to ask for help.

Mayday Mayday!

But hey, asking for help can make you a stronger person.

For it is stepping outside of your comfort zone.

Somewhere down my path,  I got lost.

I wanna believe but I got lost, so lost.

I am a mess.

I wanna be truthful.

Can someone please extend a hand.

I don't wanna,

I don't wanna choose. 

I am caught in between.

I don't know which lane to move...

Everything is a mess. 

Have been a mess.

Is so messed up.

Everything is so messed up here.

I was so sure that I could be fine...

I was so certain that I will be alright,

But I wanna yell, heck I wanna scream.

Telling 1 person that is close to me... Ish? And finally admitting it to myself.

It helps. It really does...

I am lost, can you take me anywhere but here?

So now...

It is going to be ohkays.

All is gonna be alright.

Everything is gonna be just simply fine.

Just Breathe and wipe off the tears.

Stand right back up, baby girl please.

Please.

Can anyone find me? Can you see me?

If I say I love you, will you say you love me too or will you treat/take me as a fool??
Is this love?hearts flutterings
1:00:00 AM
Y

Welcome to Emily Mandy blog
Love is like a river,
Which will cut a new path;
whenever it meets an obstacle.
Love is not demanding,
its unconditional

Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like,
because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
Find one, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you
of how much he cares about you and
how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends
and says, '...that's her.'
emily
mandy
.saggitarius.
.DOB " 10 Dec ".


BbabyymiLy.
cherished.x3
treasures.x33
.loves.&.treasured by.x3
pampered.x3
hugs like a teddie.x3
by.
-Unknown and MIA or AKIA-

-Unknown and MIA or AKIA-
walks.
BbabyymiLy.
away from all.
her troubles.
keeping her.
healthy safe & secure!


♥Everlastiinq Lolipops
♥Everlastiinq jelly beans
♥Everlastiinq love
♥Everlastiinq Chocolates
♥Everlastiinq reese peanut buttercups
teddie bear
anime
-Inuyasha-
minimandy
grims jr.
blue, black x3
hearts x33
stroll by the seaside and star glaze

abusers
liars
hypocrites
gossipers
BackSTABBERS
betrayers




.my baobei.
.my precious.



Worldpeace
Chocolatesworld .. white
*wishing n Wishing for you*
sushi
.mobile.
a new mp4
clam shell / flip phone is love
I don't get revenge. I get even.
There is a difference...
I will prove it


PSP
ice cream ...
chocolate
jelly bean
white choco
~!snow!~
#MINE#
*healthy*

Prove it.
Show it.
Make me believe.
Let me believe it existed.