Are you willing to walk this long and difficult road with me?

Now that I am expecting, I know mostly me being emotional is because of the hormones.
But, I seriously have been thinking if I had ruin part of my life. I lost a family that I didn't want to lose, I just wanted to leave for awhile since I am unsure of what to do or say. At that point of time, I was just thinking of Valerie.

I wanted my parents, family and relatives blessing for my wedding.
I wanted to see what my best friends and girl friends will do before letting the groom to fetch his bride when we are getting married. And I will want to view the video again and again, to see what he will do for me and to see him in his suit.
But now, I doubt it is possible..

Now, I am trying to get back with my parents. But they are really mad because of boyfriend's father saying a number of rude and untrue stuffs to them. They told me that a number of hurtful things I said was relayed to them, to which I didn't say and boyfriend's father was the one that called them up to scream at them. Now I am paying all the price, I could have saved Valerie, have a wedding that I hoped for with my family blessings. But I lost her as I failed miserably at protecting her, lost my family and didn't get to have a proper wedding with memories to keep. And when being asked, "So how did your hubby proposed to you?" I didn't know what to say and it's awkward.

I thought he is all that I could ever hope for.
But I am wondering if I would regret not having a wedding with memories. I know I wanted something simple but I am jealous what I see other brides have their girlfriends making the groom do stuffs before letting them in to fetch their bride. He is embarrassed of me, his mother is embarrassed of me, they refuse to go out with me, not just for a walk, not to buy stuffs for the kid. Both their first thought is wanting to push me for the op again. No, I am gonna protect my baby at all cost this time. I ain't needing anyone else help. Not, not the Dr, not the nurses. They claimed they protect the one carrying the child. They claimed I am the one that gets to make the decision. Lies, all lies. 


I feel like a burden. I feel helpless. I fear that this baby will not be loved. I am scared that this baby will blame me and ask me why did I give birth to him. I want to protect him but I feel like I won't be able to. I am afraid that I will fail again. Worried that I won't be a good mum.

If I say I love you, will you say you love me too or will you treat/take me as a fool??
Is this love?hearts flutterings
1:32:00 AM
Y

Welcome to Emily Mandy blog
Love is like a river,
Which will cut a new path;
whenever it meets an obstacle.
Love is not demanding,
its unconditional

Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like,
because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
Find one, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you
of how much he cares about you and
how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends
and says, '...that's her.'
emily
mandy
.saggitarius.
.DOB " 10 Dec ".


BbabyymiLy.
cherished.x3
treasures.x33
.loves.&.treasured by.x3
pampered.x3
hugs like a teddie.x3
by.
-Unknown and MIA or AKIA-

-Unknown and MIA or AKIA-
walks.
BbabyymiLy.
away from all.
her troubles.
keeping her.
healthy safe & secure!


♥Everlastiinq Lolipops
♥Everlastiinq jelly beans
♥Everlastiinq love
♥Everlastiinq Chocolates
♥Everlastiinq reese peanut buttercups
teddie bear
anime
-Inuyasha-
minimandy
grims jr.
blue, black x3
hearts x33
stroll by the seaside and star glaze

abusers
liars
hypocrites
gossipers
BackSTABBERS
betrayers




.my baobei.
.my precious.



Worldpeace
Chocolatesworld .. white
*wishing n Wishing for you*
sushi
.mobile.
a new mp4
clam shell / flip phone is love
I don't get revenge. I get even.
There is a difference...
I will prove it


PSP
ice cream ...
chocolate
jelly bean
white choco
~!snow!~
#MINE#
*healthy*

Prove it.
Show it.
Make me believe.
Let me believe it existed.